Three women who earn more than their male partners explain for Cosmopolitan what it really feels like and what they had to deal with
Sometimes women make more money than their male partners. Shocking, right?!
But even though about 40 percent of households have a female breadwinner, which is more than ever before, recent studies found that people are still uncomfy with that idea—so much so that they’re more likely to lie about who makes what.
So even though it’s 2020, we still have to deal with the awkward ways money can present itself in heterosexual relationships.
Three women who earn more than their male partners explain for Cosmopolitan what it really feels like and what they had to deal with.
He called me his sugar mama.
“For a few years, I made about $100,000 more than my now-husband. He called me his sugar mama, and occasionally we had tiffs when I wanted to go out to dinner a hundred times a week. We jointly decided to be more intentional about spending our money out, making sure we were excited about the restaurant and going on a date—not just going out to be lazy. But I always felt like he was proud of me rather than jealous of me.” —Gina, 29
Although we contribute disproportionately to our finances, we contribute equally to our relationship.
“The fact that I make about twice as much as my husband is not something I think about regularly. I pay for the majority of our monthly expenses, so when I notice he forgets to clean the dishes or some other menial chore, of course it annoys me. I admit I find myself thinking, If I pay for most everything, why can’t he just remember to do the dishes once in a while?! But that’s not helpful or fair.
“I think the main thing to remember is that although we contribute disproportionately to our finances, we contribute equally to our relationship, emotionally. This is easier said than done! But this year, we are really focusing on our finances and saving, so we’re trying to stay focused on reaching a monetary goal. At the end of the day, who cares who makes more when we’re just trying to save for our future?” —Mari, 30
He always tells me how important it is that I fight for money at work.
“My fiancé makes 12 percent less than I do and has for about a year. It never feels awkward and he doesn’t feel threatened. He is so proud of me and always tells me how important it is that I fight for money at work. It’s actually because of him that I’ve been able to negotiate higher salaries—he pushes me to ask for way more than I would on my own in every negotiation!” —Melissa, 32